I'm such a music freak and I have so many songs on my iPod, I haven't heard all of them. So I put the damn thing on shuffle today while I was making the hour commute to clinic and here's what comes on...
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will
Oh Lady Antebellum, how you are so right...
I've got a few job interviews coming my way. One of the hospitals is bringing me in for two full days of interviews with 3 different departments just to see where I'd be a good fit. I think that sounds hopeful.
As far as the rest of it, I'm so mentally and emotionally exhausted I have no motivation to study for my boards at all. It's all I can do just to get myself to get out of bed in the morning. I just want to sleep. My one goal in life right now is to go to sleep and wake up feeling rested.
On a brighter note, the family will be here in 12 DAYS, Graduation in TWO WEEKS, and the boards in 18 DAYS! EEEK! The two best and worst years of my life are almost OVER. Love it. Serisouly. Can't get any better than that. I'm almost a "real" professional. No more part time jobs, no more wondering where the money is going to come from, NO MORE ROOMMATES... matching furniture, my cat/cats (future tense on the plural... adopting another when I get a new place so that the one I have will have a companion after being with my mom's dog for the last 4 years.)
SO EXCITED for what the future holds :) It's my time to shine!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Today is another day
Today I had a moment...
I was in the car driving back to my apartment from my rotation (an hour away) because my computer died and I wanted to take it to the Best Buy right near the place I live rather than the one close to the clinic because my rotation is over next week and if they had to send it out to be fixed then I would have to drive an hour out of the way to go pick it up.
I digress...
I was driving listening to the radio... it was a beautiful day outside, sunshine and 50 degrees. Then this song comes on the radio
Don't think I don't think about it
Don't think I don't have regrets
Don't think you don't get to me
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout
Could've been, should've been all worked out
I know what I felt, and I know what I said
But don't think I don't think about it
Next thing I know I'm sobbing driving down the damn freeway. Seriously?
I had to have a conversation with myself.
So there I am, in between sobs, talking out loud to myself saying "Ok look, life is hard right now, but hold it together for three more weeks. In three weeks you can fall the hell apart and no one will blame you, but right now you've got to hold yourself together." I'm sure the person in the Venza right next to me thought I was a NUT JOB.(By the way the song was a little Darius Rucker... who doesn't cry when listening to Hootie.)
On the other hand, the computer is officially dead. I was told by the incredibly shy and completely adorable Geek Squad guy that it would cost anywhere from $60 to $300 to fix my computer and that in his professional opinion I would be better off not fixing it and just getting a new computer. Awesome. 3 weeks until graduation and my computer DIED.
Oh well. Right now I just need to keep my chin up, my head down, and power through until the end.
Time for studying and the Bruins game.
I was in the car driving back to my apartment from my rotation (an hour away) because my computer died and I wanted to take it to the Best Buy right near the place I live rather than the one close to the clinic because my rotation is over next week and if they had to send it out to be fixed then I would have to drive an hour out of the way to go pick it up.
I digress...
I was driving listening to the radio... it was a beautiful day outside, sunshine and 50 degrees. Then this song comes on the radio
Don't think I don't think about it
Don't think I don't have regrets
Don't think you don't get to me
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout
Could've been, should've been all worked out
I know what I felt, and I know what I said
But don't think I don't think about it
Next thing I know I'm sobbing driving down the damn freeway. Seriously?
I had to have a conversation with myself.
So there I am, in between sobs, talking out loud to myself saying "Ok look, life is hard right now, but hold it together for three more weeks. In three weeks you can fall the hell apart and no one will blame you, but right now you've got to hold yourself together." I'm sure the person in the Venza right next to me thought I was a NUT JOB.(By the way the song was a little Darius Rucker... who doesn't cry when listening to Hootie.)
On the other hand, the computer is officially dead. I was told by the incredibly shy and completely adorable Geek Squad guy that it would cost anywhere from $60 to $300 to fix my computer and that in his professional opinion I would be better off not fixing it and just getting a new computer. Awesome. 3 weeks until graduation and my computer DIED.
Oh well. Right now I just need to keep my chin up, my head down, and power through until the end.
Time for studying and the Bruins game.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Getting there...
Things are looking up and down today. Although having a good sense of humor has definitely helped today...
Was supposed to have a phone interview last night with a hospital in the Mayo system... AT&T decided to have a network problem. Couldn't call out and had no idea if anyone else could call in. Thank goodness the woman was really understanding when I was finally able to speak with her today. Everything went well and she is going to forward my resume on to both the Urgent Care department and the Urology department. Woo!
Day before yesterday, my laptop (which to be honest had been making a GOD AWFUL noise that sounded much like a jet engine) was completely silent. Then after being on for about an hour, just decided to shut itself off. So naturally (because I'm the boss) I decided to turn it back on. How dare electronics have a mind of their own!! Sadly, it turned on, booted up, and shut right back down again. LAME.
GEEK SQUAD TO THE RESCUE... except no rescue for this one. Most likely the fan died and depending upon which fan, the cost of repair is almost as much as a new computer. Seriously? 18 days until graduation and my computer shits the bed. Balls. Soooo... I'm bringing it to them to look at anyway. Maybe there will be an early Christmas miracle and they will be able to fix it. If not, I'm not sure what the hell I'm going to do to survive my last 18 days of PA school without a computer.
Besides that... just trying to FORCE myself to focus and study for my damn boards. I'm burning out. Need a vacation desperately.
15 days until my family arrives, 17 days until graduation, 19 days until my boards, 20 days until we head out on the 30 hour drive back to MN... then freedom, sweet freedom.
I'm also not usually so much of a Debbie Downer. I'm usually quite flighty and comical. I'm just trying to sort out a lot of stuff in my head right now.
On the upside, if y'all keep following me then you'll get to see a happy ending. Because everyone deserves a happy ending. And if the universe doesn't throw one at me, I'm going to make my own happy ending.
And it starts a little something like this...
Once upon a time...
Was supposed to have a phone interview last night with a hospital in the Mayo system... AT&T decided to have a network problem. Couldn't call out and had no idea if anyone else could call in. Thank goodness the woman was really understanding when I was finally able to speak with her today. Everything went well and she is going to forward my resume on to both the Urgent Care department and the Urology department. Woo!
Day before yesterday, my laptop (which to be honest had been making a GOD AWFUL noise that sounded much like a jet engine) was completely silent. Then after being on for about an hour, just decided to shut itself off. So naturally (because I'm the boss) I decided to turn it back on. How dare electronics have a mind of their own!! Sadly, it turned on, booted up, and shut right back down again. LAME.
GEEK SQUAD TO THE RESCUE... except no rescue for this one. Most likely the fan died and depending upon which fan, the cost of repair is almost as much as a new computer. Seriously? 18 days until graduation and my computer shits the bed. Balls. Soooo... I'm bringing it to them to look at anyway. Maybe there will be an early Christmas miracle and they will be able to fix it. If not, I'm not sure what the hell I'm going to do to survive my last 18 days of PA school without a computer.
Besides that... just trying to FORCE myself to focus and study for my damn boards. I'm burning out. Need a vacation desperately.
15 days until my family arrives, 17 days until graduation, 19 days until my boards, 20 days until we head out on the 30 hour drive back to MN... then freedom, sweet freedom.
I'm also not usually so much of a Debbie Downer. I'm usually quite flighty and comical. I'm just trying to sort out a lot of stuff in my head right now.
On the upside, if y'all keep following me then you'll get to see a happy ending. Because everyone deserves a happy ending. And if the universe doesn't throw one at me, I'm going to make my own happy ending.
And it starts a little something like this...
Once upon a time...
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